Once in a Blue Moon

Two Minds

I have been of two minds lately

In this blue moon month

And even unaware

I have felt it's influence

I have been of two minds lately

One to laugh and one to cry

I have done some good things lately

Like singing in the rain

And carefully picking wild flowers

To make a bouquet

Or wading in the water

And writing down the pain

I have been of two minds lately

One to laugh and one to cry

I've listened to the Angels

Singing in the wind

I've seen the birds flying

Riding the thermals in the air

And felt their joy and despair

I've watched the river flowing

And the tides come in & out

And I've even gone to work

When I didn't want to

Discovering I still knew the way

Feeling better for it

None of this has been in vain

I have been of two minds lately

One to laugh and one to cry

I have been unpacking lately

Finding evidence of life & love

I have been crying and weeping

And crying some more

From a well I thought was dry

I have been of two minds lately

One to laugh and one to cry

I didn't know I could shed so many tears

I thought I'd cried all there was 

I thought my grief was over

I thought I'd closed that door

Only to find it open

The floodgates extended

The damn broken

while I sat upon the floor

Among the buried treasure

Of photographs and more

My brother's army hat

A letter from my sister

My mother's silly poem

About the cat that kissed her

My father's diary and their union pins
My firstborns baby bracelet

Tiny bits and pieces

I thought that I could keep

To hold their memories in

Scattered mementos carefully packed

Hoarded against the day

When my memory

began to fade

Life contains so much that

Death can take away

I have been of two minds lately

One to laugh and one to cry

I've wondered about my mind lately

Because I never know quite where or when

The crying would begin

Or when that lonesome feeling

Would find it's way in

I have been of two minds lately

One to laugh and one to cry

Then a friend told me

There is no right way to grieve
Grieving knows its way
And when we discover we feel alone  
We are because  

We have lost the ones we love

In crying I acknowledge that

In laughing I do too

And find that the loves I thought I lost
Are just a thought away

And are brought nearer to me
Whispering in my ear
I love and support you

And I feel them all around me

Once in a new, blue, or full moon

I have been of two minds lately

One to laugh and one to cry


written June 7, 2007  revised 9/9/11
By Pattra Burnetto Monroe

Germination (1999)

lying dormant in the garden
are the seeds that have been sown

winter hides the flowers
deep within the ground

cloistered within the depression
lying dormant in the earth

are disembodied dreams
protected in a state of silence

numb and warm
are seeds awaiting germination

like the silent sleeping beauty
awakened by the prince

my loves awaken me
with patient little prods

beckoning me to surface
come sing to us they call

come fix me something to eat
laughter, rain, and sorrow

each calling for attention
each seed seeking its perfection

no matter what state
dormant or awakened

or lying buried in the ground
appearances can be deceiving

and love can still be found

Pattra Burnetto Monroe

Definition by Pattra Burnetto Monroe (1997)

DEFINITION

I AM NOT

A PERFORMER

A WRITER

A POET

A DANCER

A SINGER

A MUSICIAN

OR AN ARTIST

BUT I DO THESE THINGS

ACT

WRITE

MUSE

DANCE

SING

PLAY

AND CREATE

BECAUSE I AM

A WOMAN

A CHILD

A MOTHER

A LOVER

A FRIEND

ALIVE 

AND BREATHING

AND BECAUSE I CANNOT

NOT 

WRITE

LAUGH

SING

CRY

GROW

AND CHANGE

pbm (1997)

Light Years

“All the loneliness, All the loneliness,
A broken Maraca of Stars…”
Bill Shively (an American Writer & Poet)

Light Years

The stars have been singing to me
Lately
Yet they have not been singing the blues
Or a sad lament
Or even sappy romantic ballads from the past
The stars have been singing me the truth
That was once mine in childhood
A song of hope


Humbled in their radiant presence
I feel small and insignificant
Lost for a moment
I take a deep breath
And find myself
Expanding
Reaching into the vastness
I find that I am a part of this
A part of the stars
A part of this magnificent universe
And as separate as each star appears

They are all held together by the night sky
And even when dawn appears
And for a moment
The stars seem gone
I remember the Milky Way
The breast of Mother Earth
And I am nourished
By the thought that I am not alone
But just one piece of the puzzle
The mystery unfolding
One atom
One nucleus
In a vast and wondrous
Universe


Pattra Burnetto Monroe ~ October 2009

The Visitors

The joy
you brought to me
still lingers

I'm dancing
in the
afterglow

Laughter illuminates me

Look
I've become
a wood nymph
a sea sprite

a dandelion
in a child's
breath

pbm

I Named You Before You Were Born

You did not remain nameless
I named you
Before you were born
I knew the night
You were conceived
That a boy child would grow Inside of me
This is very good news 
In some cultures
And part of me rejoiced
The part of me that was 
Glorious was you

There was another part of me
That didn't know what to do
"They" said I was too young
to be a good mother
and at first I wouldn't listen
I wanted so very much to keep you
To hold you and rock you and to sing to you each and every day and night
I wanted to be your mother
and make everything all right

I loved you before you 
Were born
I loved you through and through
And the choices I made directly Affected you
The mistakes I made 
I could not undo
You were conceived 
In Love 
Confusing, but true
But you were not the mistake 
My child
My mistake was that I wasn't prepared
to be the mother you deserved

I always wanted you
but I also wanted what was best
for you and so I chose to surrender
but I never let you go
And when I dream of how you grew
from a boy into a man
I wonder what name was given to you
and if you knew that once I named you too

pattra burnetto monroe

In Search of Birth Son: date of birth 5/27/1968, Name Unknown

Sailing Away

If time were to avail a space for us
I'd take you to my oasis
I'd take your cup and fill it up
with hope and dreams
and encouragement

I would kiss every inch of you
as a mother kisses her baby
pressing your sweet pink toes
to my bosom
as a flower for my lady

It would be a sweetness
The milk of human kindness
holding you in my arms again
not man nor woman
not mother to child
but human to human

I'd take you in my arms
cradle you in my arms
and caress your fears away
I'd sing you a lullaby
and hold you tenderly
and call you my son
If you would let me

If time were to avail a space for us
I'd take you to my oasis
and float you on the waters
I'd reel in our abundance
and place it in your hands
a gift to keep forever
a love that understands

And accepts you
just the way
you are
all of you
your laughter, joy, and sorrow
your anger and your fears

I am someone who loves you
all the more
because you are
that is enough
You are perfection
just the way you are

A ray of hope
A new dawn
The end of an era
A worn cliche that sometimes
just needs graham crackers
and milk
to feel okay

I love you

written by Pattra Burnetto Monroe 1995 (revised 2009) dedicated to my first born son, Shawn Patrick Burnetto, wherever you are... i love you

Country Western Haiku

Country Western Haiku # 101

Prophecy

I'm taking my shoes with me

so no one can fill them

while I'm gone


Country Western Haiku # 102

Lost & Profound

Sometimes

Love is more than

a four letter word


Country Western Haiku # 123

Lost & Found

There is no loss in heaven

It's in heaven where

everything can be found

Pattra Burnetto Monroe

December 2008

There is Change in the Wind Part III

my back turned
from the morning sun
as i write this morning
so that i can face the river
that carries
my mother's ashes to the sea

facing west this morning
a new direction
i can feel the change
begin to recognize it
name it
hear it
feel it
almost taste it

it is time for me
to tell the truth
as i know it
or knew it then
in my past
in their past

it is time to reveal
some things
to my children
first one
then the other
then all three of them
together
maybe even
their older brother
will join us

the mysteries revealed
the puzzle put together
whole
maybe his coming is part
of the change
i do not know

i only know
the change
is coming
that in my life
change is coming
and i am here
awaiting
the awareness
the warmth
and the joy


Thank you, God, for all this & more. Amen.

A Quiz: Who am I

I am blue-yellow, but not green
I am long and thin, but not lean
I am a wild horse, but not a mustang
I am an old reliable ford
On my good days
I am a strong force to be reckoned with

I am my mother's daughter

I am slow & fluid, but not graceful
I am a bird song in the morning,
But I no longer mourn
I am a haunting melody, without a warning
A siren searching
A Lorelei
Forsaken, but not easily forgotten
My days are numbered, but I am not

I am not my father's son

If I were furniture, I would not be a sofa or a couch,
But I could be a divan -- sprawl out on me,
But do not get too comfortable
If I were food I would be spaghetti,
The leftovers tasting better than the day before
Play with me, slurp me, but do not desert me

I was once a playful child

I am the flute song
Floating on the perfumed river
I am the weeping willow
With my roots entwined in the earth
I am serious, my intent is genuine,
Although my actions are sometimes feeble
Inexcusable or nonrenewable
They are livable, the choice was & is mine
I did the best I knew how to do
At the time

Each act forgivable or not
My expiration inevitable
Does being born feel a bit like dying
I don't remember either
yet

I fear living fully sometimes
And other times
I can be fearless
And sometimes alone
at night
I fear drowning
In embryonic fluid
Or sometimes I fly above the earth
And then I awake & forget
Who I am

Who am I
A) am I the born awaiting death
B) am I the unborn awaiting rebirth
C) both A & B
D) none of the above


By Pattra Burnetto Monroe March 2000 (revised March 2009)