The Visitors

The joy
you brought to me
still lingers

I'm dancing
in the
afterglow

Laughter illuminates me

Look
I've become
a wood nymph
a sea sprite

a dandelion
in a child's
breath

pbm

I Named You Before You Were Born

You did not remain nameless
I named you
Before you were born
I knew the night
You were conceived
That a boy child would grow Inside of me
This is very good news 
In some cultures
And part of me rejoiced
The part of me that was 
Glorious was you

There was another part of me
That didn't know what to do
"They" said I was too young
to be a good mother
and at first I wouldn't listen
I wanted so very much to keep you
To hold you and rock you and to sing to you each and every day and night
I wanted to be your mother
and make everything all right

I loved you before you 
Were born
I loved you through and through
And the choices I made directly Affected you
The mistakes I made 
I could not undo
You were conceived 
In Love 
Confusing, but true
But you were not the mistake 
My child
My mistake was that I wasn't prepared
to be the mother you deserved

I always wanted you
but I also wanted what was best
for you and so I chose to surrender
but I never let you go
And when I dream of how you grew
from a boy into a man
I wonder what name was given to you
and if you knew that once I named you too

pattra burnetto monroe

In Search of Birth Son: date of birth 5/27/1968, Name Unknown

Sailing Away

If time were to avail a space for us
I'd take you to my oasis
I'd take your cup and fill it up
with hope and dreams
and encouragement

I would kiss every inch of you
as a mother kisses her baby
pressing your sweet pink toes
to my bosom
as a flower for my lady

It would be a sweetness
The milk of human kindness
holding you in my arms again
not man nor woman
not mother to child
but human to human

I'd take you in my arms
cradle you in my arms
and caress your fears away
I'd sing you a lullaby
and hold you tenderly
and call you my son
If you would let me

If time were to avail a space for us
I'd take you to my oasis
and float you on the waters
I'd reel in our abundance
and place it in your hands
a gift to keep forever
a love that understands

And accepts you
just the way
you are
all of you
your laughter, joy, and sorrow
your anger and your fears

I am someone who loves you
all the more
because you are
that is enough
You are perfection
just the way you are

A ray of hope
A new dawn
The end of an era
A worn cliche that sometimes
just needs graham crackers
and milk
to feel okay

I love you

written by Pattra Burnetto Monroe 1995 (revised 2009) dedicated to my first born son, Shawn Patrick Burnetto, wherever you are... i love you

Country Western Haiku

Country Western Haiku # 101

Prophecy

I'm taking my shoes with me

so no one can fill them

while I'm gone


Country Western Haiku # 102

Lost & Profound

Sometimes

Love is more than

a four letter word


Country Western Haiku # 123

Lost & Found

There is no loss in heaven

It's in heaven where

everything can be found

Pattra Burnetto Monroe

December 2008

There is Change in the Wind Part III

my back turned
from the morning sun
as i write this morning
so that i can face the river
that carries
my mother's ashes to the sea

facing west this morning
a new direction
i can feel the change
begin to recognize it
name it
hear it
feel it
almost taste it

it is time for me
to tell the truth
as i know it
or knew it then
in my past
in their past

it is time to reveal
some things
to my children
first one
then the other
then all three of them
together
maybe even
their older brother
will join us

the mysteries revealed
the puzzle put together
whole
maybe his coming is part
of the change
i do not know

i only know
the change
is coming
that in my life
change is coming
and i am here
awaiting
the awareness
the warmth
and the joy


Thank you, God, for all this & more. Amen.

A Quiz: Who am I

I am blue-yellow, but not green
I am long and thin, but not lean
I am a wild horse, but not a mustang
I am an old reliable ford
On my good days
I am a strong force to be reckoned with

I am my mother's daughter

I am slow & fluid, but not graceful
I am a bird song in the morning,
But I no longer mourn
I am a haunting melody, without a warning
A siren searching
A Lorelei
Forsaken, but not easily forgotten
My days are numbered, but I am not

I am not my father's son

If I were furniture, I would not be a sofa or a couch,
But I could be a divan -- sprawl out on me,
But do not get too comfortable
If I were food I would be spaghetti,
The leftovers tasting better than the day before
Play with me, slurp me, but do not desert me

I was once a playful child

I am the flute song
Floating on the perfumed river
I am the weeping willow
With my roots entwined in the earth
I am serious, my intent is genuine,
Although my actions are sometimes feeble
Inexcusable or nonrenewable
They are livable, the choice was & is mine
I did the best I knew how to do
At the time

Each act forgivable or not
My expiration inevitable
Does being born feel a bit like dying
I don't remember either
yet

I fear living fully sometimes
And other times
I can be fearless
And sometimes alone
at night
I fear drowning
In embryonic fluid
Or sometimes I fly above the earth
And then I awake & forget
Who I am

Who am I
A) am I the born awaiting death
B) am I the unborn awaiting rebirth
C) both A & B
D) none of the above


By Pattra Burnetto Monroe March 2000 (revised March 2009)

A Reminder Not To Buy The Lies Of Our Life

A Reminder Not To Buy The Lies Of Our Life

We are love, not hate
Hate is just fear in disguise
Fear is meant to give us
The illusion of safety

Fear acts like a friend
But it is a trickster
Like coyote...
Both friend and foe in one skin

Howling down the thunder
When we need the rain
Howling out its hunger
Howling out its pain...

We are not coyote
We are not the rain
We are not the pain...
Yet we are

We buy our fears
We buy our lies
We bury our heads
We turn the other cheek

Only to climb back on the rug again...
We buy the deceit
We want to trust
But we are afraid to leap

What if there is no God?
What if there is no love?
What if the years the locust have eaten
Cannot be restored?

What if i die tomorrow
With my life left undone?
What if i choose,
Instead, to remember
We are always
All ways
Love?

This is a reminder
Not to buy
The lies of our life

Pattra Burnetto Monroe
August 2000

Fullmoonitis

You are not an object
Yet
You are the object of
My desire
This I can not tell
You
Fearing using you
More than the loss of
My desire
Which comes and goes
Waxes & wanes

pbm

Jigsaw Puzzle

If I could
I would
take my past
piece by puzzling piece
and put it back together
creating a scene of beauty and order
straightening out the chaos
of my mistaken beliefs
choosing love instead of hate
blue instead of grey
taking small bits of matter
that once seemed so important
random deeds scattered
across the table of my life
If I could
I would
take my past
peace
by
puzzling
peace

PBM
1996

Company in Modern Times

I gave you a cup of tea

I zapped it like a witch

I could have kept you longer

If I had boiled the water

Pattra Burnetto Monroe